Saturday, September 21, 2013

Nice little surf session

Tried to go out surfing last Wed. But it was a tad to crazy for me.

But yesterday Friday, I met some friends to surf and take our friend Susan out for a Birthday lunch.

We all met at Blackies and surfed and had a blast. Waves were actually small, it was kind of drizzly out... But water was warm and very clean and clear and a lot of the crew was out having a great time !!

Surfed for 2 hours! I loved being in the water... Felt so good and since it's been about 3 weeks since the last time I surfed ... I needed it so badly! 

After  surf ...a handful of us went out to eat .. And my friend Tracy who is friends with Susan too, showed up and I dragged her to lunch also ;-)

We ate at Green Leaf some good healthy food  and for dessert had some amazing gluten free cupcakes! 

After contemplating over a second surf session .. We decided not too and head home!

But I went out... Even though I really still am not feeling very social... 

Glad my friends made me go... I needed it more than I realized ... And I needed my friends too!

One day at a time!!!  

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Drowning My Sorrows In Salt Water

Its been a rough couple weeks to say the least!

I know you read the post about Mako..but I also just recently lost a lil Chihuahua Bella almost a week ago. She got out of the backyard.. and we were all there and no one noticed.

I am devistated.. I lost 2 dogs in one week!!

We were in the backyard celebrating my 2 sons birthdays..Chris turned 25 on Sept. 1 and Nate turned 23 on Sept. 2. We had Bella in the back yard and were trying to introduce the backyard to her. She was deathly afraid to go out there when Mako was there..but Mako would never hurt her. But she did not know that! So when She was in the backyard that night.. I dont think she realized Mako was no longer there and found a way out.

I thought Brian took her to bed with him.. but when we woke up before 6:00 am we realized she was missing.

I immediatly got dressed and went looking for her for 3 hours. Then my amazing Neighbors Steve and Mitzi made flyers... got them printed and we also posted on various web pages to look for her. We all went on foot and put up posters and went door to door.. NO Bella.

I been going to the pound and am about to make more posters and go to local vets and groomers and pet stores around here.
I am a wreck!! A broken wreck!

Bella went missing Sunday night..

Tuesday hubs and i went to the beach to surf.. I was crying when we showed up. I never stopped crying from the time she went missing. SO my surf friends all had to deal with the mess I am.

I just wanted to grab my board and head out to sea. My plan was to sit outside and just cry. My neighbor Daryl gave me his 9' foam board... because he knew i was not in a good state of mind and the last time i surfed.. (after putting Mako down) I really sucked. He said to use it till I got my mojo back.

I was suited up and walking to see where to paddle out and just wanted to be left alone!
Well I was stopped in the parking lot by Susan and a few of the Blackies crew who hugged me and gave me a few pep talks..and out in the line up. I had Dawn and Kim trying to chear me up and convinced me to catch some waves..

I did and actually had a good time...even though I was still devasted..

Glad i surfed and was with my surfing Ohana.. really helped especially since after surf we went to the pound to look for Bella.. no Bella to be found..and seeing all those lil faces tore me apart! I wanted to take them all home!

So we needed to surf again...

Went back the next day and it was even better..I was not crying as much.. and had an amazing surf day. Everyone was in the water. Surf was bigger, glassy, water was warm and Clean.. you could see the bottom no problem.. lil fish swimming everywhere and ALOHA spirit was definatly there.

I caught so many waves I lost count.. I also put my hand in the wave as I was riding down in. That was a first for me and just a beautiful experiance.

We went again the following day and it was closed out, water was cold and seemed like we were in a completely different world.

BUT we all still went in and even though it was not as great as the last two days... we all had fun.

SO yes I am down .. I was completely broken..YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

I was at the point where I was questioning every thing.. Especially Karma.. I have saved so many dogs and reuinited them with thier owners.. and saved dogs and found them great homes. Why is that not happening to me? I am getting depressed about the job search not going anywhere..and my hubs job slowing down for the season. Wondering how we are gonna make it! This heat wave is killing me and we have NO AC and live where the temperatures are over 100 right now. I am sick of struggling and EVERYTHING falling apart on me..No really my whole house is falling apart.. everything is breaking..Hubs has not been helping.. he has actually been very negative..and that does not help! I am doing the woe is me.. the WHY ME?!?! I am very much a good person and even when I am piss ass poor .. I will give the shirt off my back to help anyone! I was ready to throw in the towel.. I was ready to take my surfboard that first day and just paddle out to sea.. I was DONE!

Then I go to Blackies see a lot of the crew..and get to surf.. THEY helped me so much..they have no idea.. Things are not better by any means..But having the support and encouragement of my surf Ohana.. is amazing.. and Surf??? Well I am totally convinced Salt Water heals all..

This Too shall pass! Iam strong and I have an amazing support system! Trying to stay strong.......

Sunday, September 1, 2013

In Memory of Mako!

We had a bit of a rough week. Tuesday we had to put down our beloved 13 year old Akita ...Mako Shark Inu... Mako for short! It was a very hard decision but a very unselfish one! He was an amazing dog ....a big part of our family... Loyal, sweet, protective, just a gentle giant !He will be missed a lot!

So Wednesday Hubs didn't have work.. Which is not good his work is slowing down for the season.. And I am still not working! But anyway he came home and said  "what do you think about surfing today?" you never saw a woman run up the stairs and change into a bathing suit so fast!
I needed to surf! After yesterday and it's been crazy hot where I live .. And too many things to list getting me down.
Its exactly what I needed !
We headed to Doho... A bit of a late start but that's ok!
We get there and see our neighbor who just got out..he said he had fun... We see Mike Frank out there.. And it's pretty small... Maybe 1-2 and slow and A LONG lull in between the sets.
We get out and by the way I don't have contacts ... I been wearing my glasses till I can afford to go the Eye dr. So this is the 2nd time I'm surfing pretty much blind... It's not very fun. I can't see who is in the line up ...a bunch of blurs bobbing on surf boards.. Cannot see waves  till they are right on top of me.. Can't judge the swell always asking hubs is that one ? I rely on him to call me into waves and block for me.. He is not very good at either .
But I did catch 3 fun rights and it was a bit crowded i thought kids wete back in school and not all yet it seemed...everyone went for the same wave... Because we had to wait so long for anything! I also had to sit inside more since everyone else had a 9'0 or bigger it was tough out there on Mo... I need a bigger thicker board for where we been surfing lately... As much as I love Mo.. It's A lot of work with these small waves!

I'm also feeling out of shape.. I again gained a bit of weight... My paddle power is lacking.. I run out of energy really early and I have problems breathing when  paddling out! 
It's not like I don't surf ... I think I been surfing less... and with this heat... I don't exercise much in the summer. I been trying to get back into running and eating well.. But too many distractions :-(..
I will soon get back into it!! I have too my clothes are very snug!! And I can't afford and i refuse to buy bigger clothes !

Back to surf... Since im sitting inside everyone one else around me caught the wave and was coming down the line before I could get it..that made me a bit flustered on top of being blind and working hard for a wave! 

I decide to go in after about an im sitting inside waiting for anything including white wash .. A wave comes with everyone on it ..and hubs is aiming right at me... I was totally in the way of everyone.. So he crashed  into me and also ruined another girls ride who was sliding down the line at me too.
I just wanted out... 

Don't get me wrong the weather was great the people were nice (even though i was the kook messing everyone up) and the water was relatively clean especially for Doheny. I caught 3 so not a loss of a day at all! 

I just know I need a bigger board for these days. And my mindset was not there and vision would be a good thing!

This elephant is my favorite colors and had peace all over it!

Oh and there were these painted elephants there too!! I really wanted to Check them all out and see what it was all about.. But I didn't.

Any way.. Not the best day.. But not the worst!

I'm ending this post with a pix my daughter Tabi drew of her and our Akita ... In memory of Mako!